Week 20: So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards
May 15, 2011January 23rd, 2011
Runaway Winner: Mike Martz and Jay Cutler
Maybe I’m too hard on Jay Cutler because he injured a knee ligament and couldn’t get out there for the rest of the game. I’m told that the doctors pulled him. That’s fine. [that's fine, that's fine]. But you know what’s not fine? Him being outplayed by not the second, but the THIRD STRING QUARTERBACK IN THE GAME. WHO THREW FOR 2 more yards per attempt than him, AND doubled his QB rating on the day [in half the time], AND put the team’s only points on the board.
This is a franchise QB, people. Jay Cutler probably tried his best to play [but I can't be sure about that - all I can say is Phillip Rivers played on a torn ACL in HIS AFCCG]; but the only certainty is that his performance today was so dumb, really dumb, forreal. The particular call that I want to focus on by Martz is the fatal 3rd and 4, with about a minute to go in the game. He tries an END AROUND with Earl Bennett, getting stuffed for a loss of one. I do not understand this call. Hanie has been slinging the ball fairly well up to that point. The Packers didn’t put that much pressure on him, and LET him pick them apart underneath. Or why not run a draw or something instead with Forte, who was having a really good game, instead of trying a long developing risk like that? Why get that cute? Good lord, Mike…you try too hard to prove your brilliance sometimes and ignore the right play. See: Forte, Wildcat last week.
Secondly, it was your offense that went 0/11 [or some absurd number like that] on third down in the game. Some of this has to fall on you too. Just a baffling, baffling decision there.
Now, onto other things this week…
Gale Sayers – for claiming that he is better than Devin Hester at returning. Mind you, Mr. Sayers, I understand that you were quite the great in your day.
BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I hate – hate hate hate hate hate [/playerhaters] former players who believe that their achievements are eternal and forever better than every player to come after them.
Recent examples:
Mercury Morris, for believing that his team would beat the 16-0 Patriots, back in 2007
Rod Laver, who says that Rafael Nadal’s holding 4 Grand Slam trophies at once does not equal a Grand Slam
Johnny Bench and other idiots who cling to absurd notions that pitchers need to get a W on the stats sheet to mean something
All of these guys suffer from some serious nostaligicizing [yeah I made that word up, sue me], and fail to realize that the game evolved after them. Gale, back in your day, the wedge was still legal. Secondly, I’m willing to bet that the overall skill level was a lot lower. Players were smaller. You yourself wouldn’t be close to one of the fastest guys on the field today. It’s stupid to make comparisons like that – especially in football, a sport that can’t really be examined in a vacuum. Were your higher return stats because of the blocking? the era you were in? the rule changes? the competition?
Baseball and basketball at least try to correct this to some degree with their statistics. But really, old athletes in general…nobody usually cares what you think. Your opinions are usually stupid. Thank you. Go away.
To the Clemson basketball team -
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Clemson-s-historic-losing-streak-at-North-Caroli?urn=ncaab-309373&active_dimension=carousel_ept_sports_blog
You would think that once in fifty five tries, you might be able to win. Wow.
This idiot – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OdSYygIsr0
for getting himself immortalized in the internet lolz hall of fame. You get decked by a MASCOT…that’s gonna make the news. lol, cleveland. Sadly, that’s only like 4th or 5th on the list of worst losses in Cleveland this year.
Jim Souhan of the Minnesota Star-Tribune – for writing that McCarthy is better than Lombardi.
What the fuck is your thinking? McCarthy had a 1-2 record before this year in the playoffs. Lombardi is 9-0. McCarthy has reached one Super Bowl [won zero so far]. Lombardi has two [the first two], and five NFL championships.
Seriously? Will you reporters write ANYTHING to get views? I don’t even have to make any argument beyond those numbers. When they name that thing they give out to winning teams in February the McCarthy trophy, we might talk.
To the executives who okayed the following two things…
Texas Network – who the fuck would pay for 24/7 texas programming? Why would anyone ever say hm, I’m bored, let’s watch something about the Longhorns? What could you possibly show here at 2AM? Vince’s Story: A Struggle With the Wonderlic? Every interception and poor decision by Garrett Gilbert in half hour blocks, accompanied by a laugh track, America’s Funniest Videos style?
but then again, this is America. Some how, people’ll watch it. /facepalm
Antoine Dodson’s reality show – okay, we get it. you had one funny video – that you yourself didn’t even make. somehow you’ve managed to parlay this into a series of endorsements, a shirt line, and a TV show. now it’s just annoying, because I’m pretty sure you’ll repeat all of those catchphrases to death during your show, thereby killing my enjoyment of this piece of visual garbage altogether.
Best believe that I’ll be climbin in yo window if you steal the So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards. And you can run and tell THAT, homeboy.
Tony Reagins, Angels GM – for trading for one of the worst contracts in baseball, and then paying almost all of it. You’re trading for a 31 year old, on the downside of his prime, who flirts with 800 OPS, and has been worth 7 WAR the last 4 seasons. Not a guy you want to be paying 20 something million a year for right now.
But any time you can get a guy who hits .226/.340/.607 in your ballpark for his career [~10 year sample size], you gotta do it. Never mind that this is a frantic overcompensation for missing out on Crawford and Beltre. Good work, Reagins.
[oh, sure, he can play better now out of Toronto or whatever, but when have you ever seen a guy become worth his massive contract suddenly? Cause I'm still waiting on Zito...]
Tom Jackson – because his pick of the Patriots over the Jets was supposed to be a carefully orchestrated mind game to motivate them further
this just in; Jackson’s picks against every team who ended up winning were also carefully orchestrated mind games.
no, really.
Vince Young – for still believing that he is an elite quarterback, according to reports this week. because elite quarterbacks quit on their teammates, throw tantrums, threaten to retire, haven’t won a playoff game, and get benched for rusty fucking smith regularly.
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2011/1/19/1943956/the-happy-football-life-of-will-hill -
this one speaks for itself. please read the whole thing.
Extra Award – PUT DA TEEM ON HIS BACK – Caleb Hanie – comes off the bench cold and nearly wins the damn game. Sure, he threw two picks. Whatever. They would’ve lost without him. Very admirable effort by the kid.
