Week 21: So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards

January 30th, 2011

consider this a test run for the offseason, when the NFL isn’t around. Less material, but more on everything.

Runaway Winner: NFL
Despite not playing a single game this week, the NFL wins the SDRD of the week. But to arrive at this conclusion, we have to first examine the NHL, who held THEIR all star game this weekend as well. Now, the NHL is undisputedly the 4th, or maybe even the 5th most popular sport in the US, behind the NFL, the NBA, the MLB, and NCAA Football. Maybe even NASCAR. This has led them to try many more marketing risks and to be proactive in the improvement of their product – New Year’s Classic, 24/7, the OT changes and things like that – but what I really wanted to highlight is the new format for their all-star game, where two captains pick sides. Playground style. Last man up gets a free car for his troubles.

Great, great move by Bettman – not only does he stir up fan interest by shaking things up, but the actual selection process itself provides a greater glimpse into the game and its players, rather than let the fans fuck things up completely. And in addition to this, we had the NHL roll out 30 special superhero mascots [Guardians] to go with each franchise, as part of a cross promotional storyline. Never mind the fact that this is a tad corny and marketed toward children – this injects life and interest into the all-star game and festivities, which is completely the opposite of what happened this weekend for the NFL.

The Pro Bowl was 42-7 NFC.
AT THE HALF.
And yet, that wasn’t even the biggest problem with the game.

The best players who are voted in don’t even play.
The players from the super bowl are mandated to show up and stand there, but not play.
The players who are injured are replaced with pretty much anybody.
The game itself doesn’t even resemble football because nobody gives a rats ass – the potential for injury would be too high otherwise. Instead, we have QBs standing there with 11 billion seconds to throw, no blitzes, vanilla 4 man rush and half assed tackling.

Granted, they’ve tried to fix this by moving the game up before the Super Bowl, or whatever. But really, nobody cares about the game. Nobody has cared about the game in years. Today was only further proof of a need for either:
1) a dramatic overhaul
2) a complete scrapping of said game

you’re doing something wrong if a lineman scoring a TD and a random guy running onto the field are the highlights of the day, NFL. AND you couldn’t even sell out the stadium. I kind of hate most of the all-star games as it is. Only baseball’s is really worth watching – and even THAT has some BS all-star game matters gimmick. Nobody ever tries in any of them.

So for insisting on shoving this piece of crap product down our throats, as we continue to care less and less, you all get an SDRD, NFL and Goodell. I personally chose to take my viewings to the Royal Rumble.

WHICH LEADS ME TO POINT NUMBER TWO.

TO THE WWE -
You guys set up a great first half of the rumble – putting in CM Punk early and letting his crew dominate, teasing us with a potential Core//Nexus feud to take place within the Rumble [after having ALREADY teased it earlier in the night during Orton/Miz]. Yet as soon as John Cena entered the ring, FOUR Nexus members were immediately eliminated, ruining the entire flow of the match. The possibility for this storyline that took up the entire first half of the rumble was wiped out in all of five minutes, because of Vince McMahon’s [or whoever the fuck is writing up there] insistence on pushing SuperCena.

Another flaw with the way the Rumble was written? They had 10 extra entrants, yet some of the surprise cameos were in the ring for all of 1 minute – Chavo Guerrero, Booker T and Diesel were great examples of this. Both came out, got pops, then left as quickly as they came, after hitting a couple moves. Kind of a waste of the extra slots – not to mention there was no HHH, Christian, Undertaker or even Jericho…The Great Khali came in, but HHH didn’t?!

Sigh. As usual, WWE messes up the good thing they have going.

Still, it was fun to watch for a couple hours. Made me feel like a child again. But that Rumble could’ve been more awesome. /shake head thanks Cena.

Cleveland Cavs & Washington Wizards – the former for having a 1-2[something] road record, and the other for having a 0-2[something].

Seriously. May as well just stay home, guys. Don’t even show up. And to any team that plans on losing at home to these guys, that’s a preliminary SDRD waiting for your name.

Iowa Football – At last count, you guys already had a running back arrested for marijuana possession and gun charges. Now the news has come out that FOURTEEN OF YOUR PLAYERS HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED FOR WORKING OUT TOO HARD. not sore. HOSPITALIZED.

This says so much about the state of Iowa – there’s nothing else to do there except to work out and sell weed.
It also speaks to the incompentency of the Iowa football staff to work the kids this hard yet still not come up with a Big 10 title. So dumb.

Mississippi State fans -

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/Did-Miss-State-fans-Facebook-obsession-drive-a?urn=ncaaf-312442

college football. serious business.

LSU football -

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/recruiting/football/news/story?id=6021570

Because this guy IS dumb, forreal. Taking classes with 3rd graders to find a loophole to get into college where he’ll likely take easy intro classes designed to inflate his GPA and get him the **** out of there as fast as possible? Good stuff. Thanks, NCAA loopholes! There’s a reason why 90% of football players are sociology or communications majors, and it isn’t usually because they’re interested in those subjects.

because if you haven’t realized it
NOT WORRYING ABOUT YOUR EDUCATION IS
so dumb
really dumb
forreal

75 guys play college football for a team, give or take. Multiply that for all 100+ for all D1 college teams, and understand that 224 out of 7500 guys get drafted. That’s 2%. THE ODDS ARE NOT IN YOUR FAVOR. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION AND PREPARE FOR A RAINY DAY.

and in this week’s unrelated completely ridiculous story…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/28/diddy-sued-for-1-trillion-woman-claims-date-rape-911-responsibility_n_815254.html?ref=tw

just read it.