Week 26: So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards

March 6th, 2011

Runaway Winners:
Miami Heat and Atlantic Records

First, the Miami Heat.
You have an 11 game stretch against contending teams in which you can define your place as legitimate title contenders.

These games were:
Knicks – 91-86 loss to the New Look Knicks, with Mr. Billups doing most of the damage in the 4th. Knicks come back from a 15 point deficit, LBJ’s last second drive is blocked by Amare, and then he proceeds to chunk a 3 pointer to end the game.

Orlando – 99-96 loss at home again, where the Magic come back from a 24 point deficit, including a 40-9 run in the second half. In this game, both Bosh and LBJ missed 3 balls on the final possession, and Wade and LeBron went 3-13 in the second half.

San Antonio – 125-95 loss the next night to San Antonio. Didn’t even bother showing up on the end of this back to back.

Chicago – 87-86 loss at home, come back from a 12 point deficit as Derrick Rose styles all over your defense and Luol Deng sinks some key free throws to end it. LBJ misses last second drive at the rim.

Never mind the rest of the schedule [which includes: Portland, LA Lakers, Memphis, San Antonio [again], Thunder and Atlanta]. These three games, combine with the Chicago flame out from two weeks ago clearly establish the Heat as a second tier team. Wade, one of the best goddamn closers in the game in his own right, is being ignored late in games [god knows why], and clearly had the hot hand in the 4th quarter tonight. Why they called the last play as an isolation for Lebron, I will never know. But another issue is how much leadership this team seems to lack – as evidenced in these two tweets by Brian Windhorst…

Spoelstra said some Heat players are crying in the locker room at the moment.—
Brian Windhorst (@WindhorstESPN) March 06, 2011

Wade said the world is getting what it wanted: the Heat are losing—
Brian Windhorst (@WindhorstESPN) March 06, 2011

Is this how you guys handle adversity? You go into the locker room and cry about it? You beg for sympathy from the media after you WANTED to play the villains? LOOOOOOOOOOL [not to be confused with Luooooooooooooool]. You guys are pretenders. And so dumb, really dumb, forreal. It seems like the “Half Man” role rotates. On some nights [most, really], the player not pulling weight is Bosh. On other nights, it’s Wade, on a few nights, it’s LeBron. But the way this team is going is cause for alarm, as they continue to freeze up late in games.

Now, if you’re Atlantic Records, and you have a guy who just went gold on his last album to critical acclaim, what do you do?
Do you:
A) continue to let him develop his own sound, hoping to bring more positive media attention to your label
or do you
B) bury his album for the next 3 years and explicitly tell him to rap in a more appealing manner to the mainstream listener, refuse to let him out of his contract, and force a poppier style of production to completely fuck up and unmesh [yeah, unmesh] with his eagerly awaited work following said critically acclaimed album?

If you chose B, you could be a label head! Congratulations!

Fuck you, Atlantic records.

Vernon Gholston -
You finished your third year with the New York Jets without a single sack. No no no, that’s not to say that this third year was sackless. ALL THREE YEARS WERE. YOU HAD A 9 MILLION DOLLAR INCENTIVE! JUST ONE! I mean, what’s mindboggling is you couldn’t even get HALF a sack! You would think that in one of the times passrushing, you would get a chance to like fall on top of a QB that another guy already had wrapped up. Nope. Instead, you join the elite pantheon of draft busts, and hopefully never get another NFL contract in your life. Not even Rex Ryan could fix you. And he made Jim Leonhard look like Ronnie Lott.

‘Nuff said.

Iran -

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Iran-threatens-London-boycott-over-racist-Olym?urn=oly-327678

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET ZION OUT OF THIS?

I really wanted to give an award to BYU or Brandon Davies. But Davies knew what he was doing when he signed up to go to BYU. I just hope that they don’t expel him, because that would be a little bit much.

Elijah Dukes -
Or should I say, Fly Eli? I think that’s what you go by, now that you’re out of the MLB…if you hit a baseball half as effectively as you beat pregnant women, you might still have a job. Instead, you’re out of one, and are so dumb, really dumb, forreal. Screwed up your career. Great work.

On the flip side though, you get serious street cred for doing a bid.

Greg McElroy Haters -
I fail to see how being intelligent can be a drawback to NFL success. Certainly, it isn’t a guarantor OF success – but how the fuck can it hurt to have a really smart guy learning your playbook? The same argument kinda goes for Myron Rolle. What, because a guy’s life isn’t consumed solely by football and he actually has a brain, that scares you off from having him play for you? How dare he graduate and actually try to have something with his degree, unlike half these bumbling idiots who come out of a football factory degree mill!

To the people who awarded Vick a hero medallion or whatever
Michael Vick is not a hero for overcoming obstacles he put in his own path. He is fascinating. He is electric. He has earned our respect and our forgiveness, but to award him for doing what many ex-cons are able to do is a bunch of bullshit. Period.

ohmygodican’twaitforbaseballtostartagain

This week’s too crazy to comment on link:

http://www.ology.com/music/girl-gets-gucci-mane-ice-cream-tattoo-her-face-becomes-famous-dumbass