Weeks 18 and 19: So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards

Runaway Winner: New Orleans Saints/Jim Caldwell & The Colts/The Censors Behind Huck Finn

New Orleans Saints [favorite headline: Late Stiffarm Lynches Saints and Playoff Hopes]
So, this week we had the defending Super Bowl champs playing quite possibly the worst playoff team ever. They were 10 point favorites on the road. Probably as close to a projected bye as there has ever been in Wild-Card Weekend.

And what happened?

Seattle happened.
Matt Hasselbeck throwing for 4 TDs happened.
Marshawn Lynch posterizing Tracy Porter for all of eternity happened.
5th and 6th string running backs happened.
Gregg Williams’ defense collapsing like a levee happened.

And by god, we’ll have a game we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. Congratulations on joining the discussion of worst playoff loss ever, New Orleans! [And this looks even worse when you look at how Seattle played this week against Chicago. LOL]

They’re removing the N word from Huck Finn -
Being an English major, I’m obligated to feel a certain way.

This decision is fucking retarded. First of all, this is bastardizing the author’s intent – the entire book revolves around the difficulty of a white/black relationship, and the N word’s inclusion is there to express a certain reality that we now believe we can erase. That’s not improvement. That’s fucking censorship. What acceptable substitute carries the same gravity and meaning without compromising the intentions of Twain? None. THERE ARE NONE.

Secondly, what the fuck is it about this damn country that causes people to think their right to not be offended supercedes the right of expression? It’s no goddamn wonder people are becoming dumb and dumber – they’re being desensitized to reality at increasingly younger ages. Pretty soon, slavery won’t have existed at all. Mind you, I have liberal tendencies, but this is beyond ridiculous. /facepalm

Kickoff return unit for the Indianapolis Colts [Favorite Headline: Jets Nudge Colts by a Foot] – Peyton manning has just given you the lead with a minute to go. All you have to do is play defense and stop the Jets – yet you dumbasses allowed Cromartie to break off a huge return with that “RUNNIN FROM DA ALIMONY COPS” speed, making their jobs so much easier.

And perhaps even better, Jim Caldwell even called a timeout to HELP the Jets late – offering “I don’t care. I do what I want” as an excuse. This has to be one of the dumbest decisions ever. And I watch a lot of Eagles football. On a sidenote, this game dropped Peyton Manning to 9-10 in the playoffs. Good thing he already has a ring, because this kind of number could seriously hurt his legacy. And on another note, they seriously need to figure out how to get a run game going, because again, Peyton Manning is not good enough to win a game by himself anymore. So, on the basis of completely choking out the game, the Indianapolis Colts are so dumb, really dumb, forreal.

Everybody blaming video games for the Tucson shooter’s craziness -
Shut the fuck up. Forreal. A person cannot be figured out by one hobby or bullshit – and certainly no fucking video game ensures that you will grow up to be an angry, violent murderer. Thanks.

Cincinnati Bengals for not having a scouting department – Before rehiring Marvin Lewis, news came out that the Bengals’ scouting department consists of THREE people.

This explains so much.

Ryan Mallett’s receivers – For dropping 5 or 6 key passes that cost them a chance for a win, especially when all the momentum was on the side of the Hogs. OLOL. It’s like they were greased up or something.

OJ Mayo/Tony Allen – You guys are goddamn millionaires. Unless you’re gambling for upwards of millions of dollars on a team flight [in which case, you then have serious gambling problems], there is literally no reason why a card game should get between you people like that. That’s absolutely retarded. And this is why athletes can’t have nice things like Twitter accounts – they often forget that they are people too.

Dumb. At least no guns were pulled this time.

This is probably the only significant thing we’ll hear with the name Tony Allen in it all year.
and double LOL at memphis saying OJ Mayo missed the game with bronchitis or whatever

Canadian Hockey WHJC – You guys invented the damn sport, yet your junior team can’t hold a 3-0 lead in the third? lol,hockey.

in soviet russia, lead holds YOU!

Miami Dolphins – Sparano – How do you jerk around your coach who you haven’t even fired yet like that? And Sparano, how can you return to a team that OBVIOUSLY does not want you? Didn’t anyone tell Stephen Ross that this might be a bad idea if they couldn’t close the deal? And how bad does Miami look if even 8 million dollars a year can’t get Jim Harbaugh?

Jim Harbaugh – For managing to make everybody in this age of modern media COMPLETELY LOST ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING. Over the course of 4 or 5 days, we heard your name thrown out against the Broncos, Michigan, Stanford, San Francisco, and the Dolphins. Often times, contradictory reports were coming out at the same time.How the fuck does that even happen? Is it that hard to make a decision on whether or not you want the job???? And perhaps even better – how did you end up taking so long if you accepted pretty much the same offer of 5m/per? It’s not like you were stalling for more money, like what was rumored…

SDRD. /shake head. You better be the savior, for all this goddamn hoopla.

New England Patriots – No urgency at all. Utterly lost out there, even with the extra bye week. Brady looked extremely uncomfortable and unable to stay upright for large portions of the game. Sound familiar?

Last time I could really say that, it was the NYG-NE Super Bowl.

Mind you, I have to salute you for taking the high road this week and trying not to get involved in the press war. But this was just an abysmal performance. 14-2 for naught.

Matt Ryan – Most of this performance has to fall on you. You couldn’t even throw for 200 yards. Didn’t look as cool as advertised. Tossed a pick to Tramon Williams that swung the game completely. At home. Where you are supposed to be untouchable.

Sorry guys. Matt Ryan is not an elite quarterback. Elite QBs are guys you would trust to win ANY game – Rodgers, Brady, Ben, Manning are the only four that qualify for me. Maybe in a few years, though – this Falcons team is still very young. That being said, give credit to the Packers for rolling at the right time, and for Rodgers slowly creeping his way into top 2/3 QB status…
[go bears<3]

Not including Seattle, because everyone expected them to lose.