First, the Miami Heat.
You have an 11 game stretch against contending teams in which you can define your place as legitimate title contenders.

These games were:
Knicks – 91-86 loss to the New Look Knicks, with Mr. Billups doing most of the damage in the 4th. Knicks come back from a 15 point deficit, LBJ’s last second drive is blocked by Amare, and then he proceeds to chunk a 3 pointer to end the game.

Orlando – 99-96 loss at home again, where the Magic come back from a 24 point deficit, including a 40-9 run in the second half. In this game, both Bosh and LBJ missed 3 balls on the final possession, and Wade and LeBron went 3-13 in the second half.

San Antonio – 125-95 loss the next night to San Antonio. Didn’t even bother showing up on the end of this back to back.

Chicago – 87-86 loss at home, come back from a 12 point deficit as Derrick Rose styles all over your defense and Luol Deng sinks some key free throws to end it. LBJ misses last second drive at the rim.

Never mind the rest of the schedule [which includes: Portland, LA Lakers, Memphis, San Antonio [again], Thunder and Atlanta]. These three games, combine with the Chicago flame out from two weeks ago clearly establish the Heat as a second tier team. Wade, one of the best goddamn closers in the game in his own right, is being ignored late in games [god knows why], and clearly had the hot hand in the 4th quarter tonight. Why they called the last play as an isolation for Lebron, I will never know. But another issue is how much leadership this team seems to lack – as evidenced in these two tweets by Brian Windhorst…

@WindhorstESPN
Brian Windhorst

Spoelstra said some Heat players are crying in the locker room at the moment.

March 6, 2011 1:48 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@WindhorstESPN
Brian Windhorst

Wade said the world is getting what it wanted: the Heat are losing

March 6, 2011 2:23 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

Is this how you guys handle adversity? You go into the locker room and cry about it? You beg for sympathy from the media after you WANTED to play the villains? LOOOOOOOOOOL [not to be confused with Luooooooooooooool]. You guys are pretenders. And so dumb, really dumb, forreal. It seems like the “Half Man” role rotates. On some nights [most, really], the player not pulling weight is Bosh. On other nights, it’s Wade, on a few nights, it’s LeBron. But the way this team is going is cause for alarm, as they continue to freeze up late in games.

Now, if you’re Atlantic Records, and you have a guy who just went gold on his last album to critical acclaim, what do you do?
Do you:
A) continue to let him develop his own sound, hoping to bring more positive media attention to your label
or do you
B) bury his album for the next 3 years and explicitly tell him to rap in a more appealing manner to the mainstream listener, refuse to let him out of his contract, and force a poppier style of production to completely fuck up and unmesh [yeah, unmesh] with his eagerly awaited work following said critically acclaimed album?

If you chose B, you could be a label head! Congratulations!

Fuck you, Atlantic records.

Vernon Gholston -
You finished your third year with the New York Jets without a single sack. No no no, that’s not to say that this third year was sackless. ALL THREE YEARS WERE. YOU HAD A 9 MILLION DOLLAR INCENTIVE! JUST ONE! I mean, what’s mindboggling is you couldn’t even get HALF a sack! You would think that in one of the times passrushing, you would get a chance to like fall on top of a QB that another guy already had wrapped up. Nope. Instead, you join the elite pantheon of draft busts, and hopefully never get another NFL contract in your life. Not even Rex Ryan could fix you. And he made Jim Leonhard look like Ronnie Lott.

‘Nuff said.

Iran -

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Iran-threatens-London-boycott-over-racist-Olym?urn=oly-327678

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET ZION OUT OF THIS?

I really wanted to give an award to BYU or Brandon Davies. But Davies knew what he was doing when he signed up to go to BYU. I just hope that they don’t expel him, because that would be a little bit much.

Elijah Dukes -
Or should I say, Fly Eli? I think that’s what you go by, now that you’re out of the MLB…if you hit a baseball half as effectively as you beat pregnant women, you might still have a job. Instead, you’re out of one, and are so dumb, really dumb, forreal. Screwed up your career. Great work.

On the flip side though, you get serious street cred for doing a bid.

Greg McElroy Haters -
I fail to see how being intelligent can be a drawback to NFL success. Certainly, it isn’t a guarantor OF success – but how the fuck can it hurt to have a really smart guy learning your playbook? The same argument kinda goes for Myron Rolle. What, because a guy’s life isn’t consumed solely by football and he actually has a brain, that scares you off from having him play for you? How dare he graduate and actually try to have something with his degree, unlike half these bumbling idiots who come out of a football factory degree mill!

To the people who awarded Vick a hero medallion or whatever
Michael Vick is not a hero for overcoming obstacles he put in his own path. He is fascinating. He is electric. He has earned our respect and our forgiveness, but to award him for doing what many ex-cons are able to do is a bunch of bullshit. Period.

ohmygodican’twaitforbaseballtostartagain

This week’s too crazy to comment on link:

http://www.ology.com/music/girl-gets-gucci-mane-ice-cream-tattoo-her-face-becomes-famous-dumbass

you rewarded us with this:

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh9PVCJ49xR9k9b0WJ

a clip that will be replayed for all of eternity as display of how much of a fucking flopper pussy you are. Notice how he goes down like he’s been shot or something, and there’s a second huge groan from the crowd when they see the replay of him being a little bitch.

HUGE L, not only for Bosh, but for a Miami team that is still struggling to find a signature win [something like 1-7 against the other top 5 teams, as well as another loss tonight against the New Knicks]. lol @ you guys.

The NBA
I honestly believe that the superteam-centric direction that the league is heading in is not good for the sport. It pisses me off because
1) entire teams are being held at the mercy of one player
2) there’s no hope for small franchises [like America, we want to believe we have a CHANCE of winning, that there is the ILLUSION of competition, not that the game is rigged].
I’m no salary cap expert, and I’m just a casual fan of the NBA, but it honestly sickens me when I am forcefed 6 months of WILL MELO LEAVE?!?!??! [and he does, inevitably].

Provisional SDRD for the NJ Nets – if they do not resign Deron Williams [which they aren't a lock to do]. You gave up a lot for a guy who was traded against his will, and put him into a crappy situation with no picks in the near future, and expect him to resign with you already?
sidenote – if Jay-Z is as big a factor in recruiting as people say, why have they missed on Melo, Bron, and Amare already?

Oakland Raiders – so, you can’t resign Nnamdi or put the franchise tag on him, but you CAN franchise a 32 year old Richard Seymour and offer Stanford Routt 3/31? By that logic, how much is Nnamdi worth? [please go to the eagles, Nnamdi. SUPABOLE]

Toyota -

http://www.autoblog.com/2011/02/24/toyota-recalls-over-two-million-more-vehicles-over-possible-peda/

this, on top of the prius failures from last year. this, after an ad campaign where you preach player safety.At least now we know why the cars are so damn cheap.

Whoever okayed Beyonce to look like this -

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/thefamous/beyonce-under-fire-for-blackface-photos/711?nc

SDSU -
mostly because of how silly Jimmer Fredette has made you look in both games this year. I mean, it’s the biggest home game you guys have ever had, and you lose by the exact same margin as you did on the road? LOL @ you guys.

Charlotte Bobcats – for trading away your best player for pretty much nothing. What, you got Pryzbilla and two first rounders..? Have you guys even hit on a draft pick since being created as a franchise yet? Or was this to clear roster space for Michael to come in and start at the 2 for you guys next season? Meanwhile, Portland gets a guy to carry the bulk of Brandon Roy’s production, AND to rest Brandon Roy? No question who the winner is THERE.

America
Because you voted Justin Beiber MVP of the Celebrity All-star game this weekend. First of all, I am morally averse to any sentence in the English language that combines the words Beiber and win. It’s nearly paradoxical [the Grammys proved that last week]. Secondly, the kid played terribly – AND his team didn’t even win. You also voted Blake Griffin the Slam Dunk Contest winner, despite a fairly average leap over a car. It could’ve seriously been argued that any of the other three guys deserved to win more than Blake Griffin [I'm partial to McGee, myself.], but the contest was rigged for the hometown boy to win. Still, two egregious voting debacles this week? SDRD, America.

[sidenote; I really enjoyed the Dunk Contest this year. Guys all brought their A game. I saw many things that I have never seen before, including the two rim dunk with McGee and the Ibaka teddy bear off the rim. Both were awesome. Now, if Blake had legitimately jumped over the sunroof of the car, that would have been the greatest dunk of all time, bar none. Especially with the choir in the background. But Charles Barkley was right. The car dunk was rather lame.]

The Alabama state trooper that poisoned the trees at Auburn
Because you have proven that the South is a bunch of inbred hick dumbasses who take football too seriously. I’m all for college pranks, but there’s a certain line that you can’t cross -
you can steal Uga and dress him in a Florida sweatshirt, but you can’t put him in a dogfight and eat him.
you can steal Tommy the Trojan’s sword and replace it with a wooden one, but you can’t turn the horse he rides on into glue.

that’s just classless, and stupid. This is the kind of childish and immature action I would expect out of a college student, not a 50 year old man. I mean, would you like Auburn fans to come and melt the statue of Bear Bryant that you have on your campus? No? Didn’t think so. My anger at this issue stems not from the fact that he killed some trees [let's face it, you and I kill trees for a lot less], but rather, how seriously this guy was willing to take the Alabama/Auburn rivalry. At the end of the day, it’s just sports. And now you face prison time for it. Good work. lolbama

The American government under George W. Bush -

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41609536/ns/world_news-mideast/n_africa/

Kind of makes you wonder…

People who say Lara Logan deserved it -
Really? In no circumstance is rape acceptable. This is not the Middle Ages. It is a tragedy and a crime that someone who is trying to do their job gets sexually assaulted – but it is equally tragic that anyone could even seriously try justifying this.

Miguel Cabrera -
I am seriously contemplating adding “Do you know who I am? You don’t know about my problems” into my rotation of sporting catchphrases. However, I do sincerely hope that you get your alcoholism worked out. But next time, hire a driver.

Please.

LA Lakers -
in particular, Kobe Bryant, who shot a disturbing 8-24 this week against the Cleveland Cavaliers, leading to one of the worst losses of the season for them. Mind you, they wasted a 30 point, 20 rebound effort by Pau Gasol and were shredded by Ramon – FREAKIN – SESSIONS. I said it on Christmas Day too. This Lakers team is probably cruising along into the playoffs, but they definitely have the “Curse of More” [see: Bill Simmons]. Really though? The CAVS?

Michael Vick haters
Seriously? This week you guys forced Vick to get off of Oprah for fear of retaliation. What does he have to do to redeem himself in your eyes, exactly? He’s been a model citizen since he’s come back to the NFL. He does outreach against animal violence now. He has apologized and served his time, so why do people continue to demonize him?

Cameron Maybin

http://www.gaslampball.com/2011/2/15/1995401/cameron-maybin-warns-against-eating-panda-express-padres-and-panda

you might want to figure out who signs your checks before you open your face.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/allstar2011/news/story?id=6137719

And this week’s seriously too crazy to believe link…

http://deadspin.com/#!5763713/hiv+positive-tommy-morrison-says-hiv-doesnt-exist-so-he-has-unprotected-sex-every-day

Winner: NFL Owners
Even in a week where there is no NFL, there’s an NFL winner.

Dear NFL Owners.
You are 32 of the richest people in the world [well, 31, minus Green Bay]. The NFL is worth billions of dollars – not to mention the hundreds of millions that you may own yourself.

To put it in short:
-Billion dollars at stake that the NFL owners want to take a larger share of
-Want to convert two more games to get additional revenue, while further risking injury to players that are already too injury prone as it is and a roster limit that they refuse to increase [all while trumpeting player safety. oh the irony]

It is very difficult to imagine that any of you are losing money on the game – yet you threaten a lockout to get MORE profit? Is there a single person who’s on the side of the owners besides Goodell and their lawyers? You guys are already raping us out the ass for full priced preseason tickets, 20 dollar parking, 10 dollar beers and a stadium experience increasingly inferior to the ones we have at home. And we buy your tickets in SPITE of that, not because of it.

Why are you doing this? We love football – but a lockout is never good for ANYONE. Ask baseball, which suffered for years until the home run chase in the late 90s brought people back to the parks. Ask hockey, which still is stuck on Versus. As Gregg Easterbrook is fond of saying, “there is no law that requires the NFL to remain popular”. And because you’re all a bunch of greedy fuck bags who have a problem with the current agreement, you want to ruin a good thing going. The last 4 Super Bowls have been pretty damn good. The game is getting more and more popular. Why tamper with what isn’t broken?

Stop canceling meetings and get in there and negotiate, you dumbfucks.

The Pittsburgh Pirates -
for losing an arbitration deal to a guy who went 1-11 last year. While I know those wins don’t count for everything, the headline is still hilarious.

i seriously wonder if i’ll get married before the pirates have another winning season, LOL.

America -
especially in this economy, it saddens me that a million people have plopped down the 12.99 to buy Nicki Minaj’s CD – aka the ghetto Gaga
i mean seriously? I can think of a thousand things I’d rather buy before a Minaj CD. Oh, and maybe a thousand and first thing to do with the money – SAVE IT.

Cavs [and subsequently, the LA Clippers] -
We salute you, Cleveland Cavaliers, for setting a new record for NBA futility. You have anchored my column for about 3 straight weeks now, and are so dumb, really dumb, forreal, for ruining an epic Streak vs Streak matchup for today [Washington's 0-21 on the road vs Cavs 28 game losign streak, if it had lasted that long]. Instead, the Clippers had to fuck that all up. So thanks, Clippers. For doing what no team could do in almost a month and a half – lose to the Cleveland CavaLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLiers. /facepalm

-11 point differential per game. Meaning that their average loss is pretty much a blowout. Kinda says it all, don’t it?

Mark Buerhle -

http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/mlber-something-bad-needs-to-happen-to-vick-29482

hey mark
something bad did happen to Vick
it’s called JAIL.
continuing to bastardize him for a crime that he’s already paid his sentence for is ridiculous and vindictive. so dumb.
secondly, animal rights groups/activists are often hypocritical – and if I find out Mark Buerhle isn’t a vegetarian, my next press conference to MLB.com might go a little something like this…

“He had a great year and a great comeback, but there were times where I watched the game and I know it’s bad to say, but there were times where I hope he got hurt. Everything you’ve done to these cows/chickens/lambs/goats, something bad needs to happen to this guy.”

you know.
just saying.

http://kotaku.com/#!5755061/expert-says-sexy-scenes-in-video-games-lead-to-sexual-violence

so lemme get this straight, Fox News
Bulletstorm doesn’t even HAVE any of these acts being performed
yet their mere name being included in game will automatically make my kids prone to sexual violence? and what makes video games a more harmful medium than rap music or television, exactly? please, tell me. and enlighten me and the other millions of gamers who happen to not have shot up our school with an AK-47.

motherfuckin sensationalist ass media. and by extension, motherfuckin old school ignorant ass reporters who have never touched a video game in their life acting like they know what the fuck theys talkin bout [remember the Mass Effect 2 fiasco, where they claimed that the sex scene was inappropriate, despite it being the end game resolution of a romantic and meaningful relationship? /facepalm]

SNL – for completely and utterly unimaginative use of Russell Brand. Not one, not two, but THREE, THREE British humor related sketches. Mind you, the episode had some high points [Killam/Pharoah pretending to be Wayne and Eminem, for example], but I felt that they wasted his potential, being a comedian and all already. Props on the monologue. For the most part, lots of terrible sketches last night.

Fedor – for how slow and old you looked in the ring on Saturday. You will always be a legend for your 10 year undefeated streak, but…man. The Last Emperor needs to get off his throne now.

[sidenote; /wistfully dreaming of a superfight that was never meant to happen]

of course Dana White had alot of fun that night. and ultimately, he may have been right. We’ll never know if Fedor was overrated or not. So thanks for that, Vadem Finklestein.

Albert Haynesworth – everybody’s favorite overpaid space consumer was arrested this week for punching a guy on the road. that’s more fight than he showed all season.

My friends and I were having an awesome time teeing off on the BEP, who were, simply put, terrible. Some of us preferred having Springsteen or The Who – that’s how bad it was.
Here’s why.
-BEP looked like they stole the outfits from the leftover Tron wardrobe collection. Apl De Ap especially.
-Sound problems all over the place – Fergie’s mike was off to start the performance, for example.
-Chose random ass guest stars to cover up for the fact that their discography doesn’t have enough hits – I mean really, who thought it would be cool to have Fergie sing Sweet Child of Mine? Anyone?
“Why not Christina Aguilera?” – Artem
And Usher? A singer that’s on the downside of his career following 2004, when he was undeniably the biggest name in pop? Why not somebody even remotely related to the teams, or even Dallas?
-Stage wasn’t even properly lit for the word LOVE
-The dancing people looked horrible – at one point there were four glowing arrows for literally no discernable reason at all, as well as 100 yards of glowing lights performing the running man [my god, if you guys are trying to give off a futuristic vibe, why use one of the dumbest ones?]
-couldn’t tell if the stage was meant to be a 9 or a B, but that was kinda dumb too

huge mess
just a huge
huge
mess

I know this was the NFL’s attempt to provide crossover appeal. But they ended up appealing to nobody.

By extension, this award goes to everybody at JerryWorld -
-Jerry, for charging 200 bucks for people to STAND OUTSIDE THE STADIUM.
-Jerry, for adding 15,000 seats and then denying 400 people their seats because the fire marshall didn’t approve them
[you would think for a 2 billion dollar stadium, you might complete paperwork on time and what not]
-Jerry, for building a stadium that couldn’t handle snow and had to close down 4 entrances
-Keyaron Fox, who drew a late unnecessary roughness/unsportsmanlike conduct that hurt the Steelers’ last chance at victory
-Shaun Suisham for blowing a 52 yard field goal so badly that it hit a guy in the stands. It would be the only attempt of his of the night. Welcome to the highlight reels for the rest of your life.
-Ben Roethlisberger, who played a terrible postseason this year. His numbers tonight looked better only because Charles Woodson broke his collarbone. And it’s not like he had pressure in his face all night, either. With the exception of one interception in the first quarter, he pretty much had all the time he wanted.
[by the way, two points on that
1) wtf was wrong with the turf at JerryWorld? we had 5 or 6 injuries tonight
2) couldn't have happened to a better guy - Charles Woodson is classy as all hell and didn't deserve it. Glad he won though.]
-Packers receivers, who made an easy victory a lot harder with their drops. Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley are sorely missed.
-James Starks. Who is terrible in pass protection. Seriously. Terrible.
-an SDRD goes out to the people who invented media week, too. by the end of the second week, all the storylines are hashed out, and things that aren’t normally a big deal become one – like Ben treating his teammates to dinner. Seriously, people? THIS IS A NON-ISSUE! /facepalm
I know it’s good for injuries and all, but Markice Pouncey didn’t even play [and Legursky did fine]…super bowl media hype pisses me off

Goodbye, football season
hello draft! ^___^

other tidbits;

all USC trojans -
Everson Griffen and Mitch Mustain in particular. Mr. Griffen was arrested not once, but TWICE in the span of three days [the first for grabbing the crotch of a police officer apparently], then decided to throw a huge party in Vegas for the Super bowl. Never mind that he’ll never get to play in one – he also had the audacity to charge a hundred bucks to hang out with him. You probably couldn’t get me to attend that party if you paid ME a hundred bucks.

Mustain, on the otherhand, was arrested under suspicion of selling narcotics. This, after already transferring away from Arkansas to get more playing time. Now he’s still buried on the depth chart at SC, and selling Adderall.

Well then. Business as usual in Trojan land? And yet some how they manage a top 10 recruiting class every year, even with sanctions. man.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/football/ncaa/02/02/ohio-state-recruit-arrest.ap/index.html?eref=sihp

U.S. Steel – for threatening employees who watch the super bowl. Really? It’s the SUPER BOWL. Your region doesn’t exactly have too many exciting things going on there. Maybe you should let them take a couple hours off and enjoy this. You know, just saying. It’s not like you have that many clients anyway, not with this economy..

Phil Simms [http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/cops-stop-phil-simms-attack-on-espns-howard-29469]
Dude.
You put your kids out there as quarterbacks, and there’s an implicit agreement that you will be subject to criticism. It’s a D-1 program, for one. For two, sports is made to BE dissected. You put them out there, in the most important position in sports, and you want to physically assault a guy who’s doing his job commenting about your son’s lack of ability for it?

So dumb. Forreal.
I bet you really wish you had whatever Archie Manning has in HIS wheaties, what with producing two awesome QB playing sons and all. Or even the Matthews.
If anything, Steve Young’s comments were the ones that deserved physical violence. But Howard did nothing wrong in saying your son was terrible. Because he is. Sportswriting and commenting is not restricted alone to those who have the ability to PLAY sports.

That one guy who voted for Lagarrette Blount in the NFL’s Comeback Player of the Year voting -
you realize he’s a rookie, right?
what the fuck did he possibly have to come back from?
college?

On the heels of hearing that Gilbert Arenas was served with child support papers at half time…

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Gilbert-Arenas-spends-a-lot-of-money-to-maintain?urn=nba-313303

dude spends 5 grand a week to take care of his sharks.
I’m getting a vision from the future
…
wait for it…
i see a scruffy, unkempt beard [check]
i see divorce and a messy custody battle
i see one of those E:60 specials about broke ass athletes
i see
agent zero taking on a whole new meaning [olol]

enjoy it, Gil. Cause you’re never getting that big of a contract again. And money don’t grow on trees. Or at the end of a gold plated gun, either.

Cleveland Cavaliers – 24 straight.
May not win again this year.
I’m gonna leave this as a running column thing until they win. Cheer up. It could be worse. Not too much worse, but still. Could be worse.

Rick Dipietro –

http://deadspin.com/5750264/heres-video-of-last-nights-one+punch-nhl-goalie-fight

you might want to fight with your helmet on next time
there’s a chance no one will know who it is with the glass jaw under there

this week’s bizarre crazy thing that doesn’t need my comments on it;

http://mirror.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/40063/the-cranky-redskins-fans-guide-to-dan-snyder.html

to which Mr. Snyder sued over. Leading to this.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/02/AR2011020206136.html

three words: worst. owner. ever.

and artem, with a contribution on snuggies

neoowned (10:46:59 PM): I have spent a significant amount of time trying to figure out a snuggie riff
neoowned (10:47:37 PM): I’ve finally found an angle after seeing Jack in pieces
neoowned (10:48:19 PM): A snuggie is a symptom of clinical depression
neoowned (10:49:32 PM): There is not a goddamn person that needs what is essentially a reverse robe
neoowned (10:51:29 PM): And the only reason one would purchase such a useless thing would be dehabilitating depression
supernammle (10:52:08 PM): …./puts away shopping list
neoowned (10:52:15 PM): The type of depression where putting on clothes doesn’t really make sense to you anymore
neoowned (10:53:20 PM): But you live amongst people so you cover up
neoowned (10:57:25 PM): The type of depression in which your only solace becomes putting on that snuggie every morning and feeling its soft, warm fabric brushing by your junk ever so gently as you waddle to your favorite couch spot.
neoowned (10:57:50 PM): …not that I would know

…sure you wouldn’t, big guy.

and also, who the hell decided to market the Chevy Cruze?

what idiot thought it would be good to use the ability to read facebook status updates from your car as a selling point?
really?

did they realize that when you get “Tony is now single” from your car, it might not be a good idea to let someone be behind the wheel of a LETHAL WEAPON?

good work, chevy
no wonder why nobody buys american cars

Runaway Winner: NFL
Despite not playing a single game this week, the NFL wins the SDRD of the week. But to arrive at this conclusion, we have to first examine the NHL, who held THEIR all star game this weekend as well. Now, the NHL is undisputedly the 4th, or maybe even the 5th most popular sport in the US, behind the NFL, the NBA, the MLB, and NCAA Football. Maybe even NASCAR. This has led them to try many more marketing risks and to be proactive in the improvement of their product – New Year’s Classic, 24/7, the OT changes and things like that – but what I really wanted to highlight is the new format for their all-star game, where two captains pick sides. Playground style. Last man up gets a free car for his troubles.

Great, great move by Bettman – not only does he stir up fan interest by shaking things up, but the actual selection process itself provides a greater glimpse into the game and its players, rather than let the fans fuck things up completely. And in addition to this, we had the NHL roll out 30 special superhero mascots [Guardians] to go with each franchise, as part of a cross promotional storyline. Never mind the fact that this is a tad corny and marketed toward children – this injects life and interest into the all-star game and festivities, which is completely the opposite of what happened this weekend for the NFL.

The Pro Bowl was 42-7 NFC.
AT THE HALF.
And yet, that wasn’t even the biggest problem with the game.

The best players who are voted in don’t even play.
The players from the super bowl are mandated to show up and stand there, but not play.
The players who are injured are replaced with pretty much anybody.
The game itself doesn’t even resemble football because nobody gives a rats ass – the potential for injury would be too high otherwise. Instead, we have QBs standing there with 11 billion seconds to throw, no blitzes, vanilla 4 man rush and half assed tackling.

Granted, they’ve tried to fix this by moving the game up before the Super Bowl, or whatever. But really, nobody cares about the game. Nobody has cared about the game in years. Today was only further proof of a need for either:
1) a dramatic overhaul
2) a complete scrapping of said game

you’re doing something wrong if a lineman scoring a TD and a random guy running onto the field are the highlights of the day, NFL. AND you couldn’t even sell out the stadium. I kind of hate most of the all-star games as it is. Only baseball’s is really worth watching – and even THAT has some BS all-star game matters gimmick. Nobody ever tries in any of them.

So for insisting on shoving this piece of crap product down our throats, as we continue to care less and less, you all get an SDRD, NFL and Goodell. I personally chose to take my viewings to the Royal Rumble.

WHICH LEADS ME TO POINT NUMBER TWO.

TO THE WWE -
You guys set up a great first half of the rumble – putting in CM Punk early and letting his crew dominate, teasing us with a potential Core//Nexus feud to take place within the Rumble [after having ALREADY teased it earlier in the night during Orton/Miz]. Yet as soon as John Cena entered the ring, FOUR Nexus members were immediately eliminated, ruining the entire flow of the match. The possibility for this storyline that took up the entire first half of the rumble was wiped out in all of five minutes, because of Vince McMahon’s [or whoever the fuck is writing up there] insistence on pushing SuperCena.

Another flaw with the way the Rumble was written? They had 10 extra entrants, yet some of the surprise cameos were in the ring for all of 1 minute – Chavo Guerrero, Booker T and Diesel were great examples of this. Both came out, got pops, then left as quickly as they came, after hitting a couple moves. Kind of a waste of the extra slots – not to mention there was no HHH, Christian, Undertaker or even Jericho…The Great Khali came in, but HHH didn’t?!

Sigh. As usual, WWE messes up the good thing they have going.

Still, it was fun to watch for a couple hours. Made me feel like a child again. But that Rumble could’ve been more awesome. /shake head thanks Cena.

Cleveland Cavs & Washington Wizards – the former for having a 1-2[something] road record, and the other for having a 0-2[something].

Seriously. May as well just stay home, guys. Don’t even show up. And to any team that plans on losing at home to these guys, that’s a preliminary SDRD waiting for your name.

Iowa Football – At last count, you guys already had a running back arrested for marijuana possession and gun charges. Now the news has come out that FOURTEEN OF YOUR PLAYERS HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED FOR WORKING OUT TOO HARD. not sore. HOSPITALIZED.

This says so much about the state of Iowa – there’s nothing else to do there except to work out and sell weed.
It also speaks to the incompentency of the Iowa football staff to work the kids this hard yet still not come up with a Big 10 title. So dumb.

Mississippi State fans -

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/Did-Miss-State-fans-Facebook-obsession-drive-a?urn=ncaaf-312442

college football. serious business.

LSU football -

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/recruiting/football/news/story?id=6021570

Because this guy IS dumb, forreal. Taking classes with 3rd graders to find a loophole to get into college where he’ll likely take easy intro classes designed to inflate his GPA and get him the **** out of there as fast as possible? Good stuff. Thanks, NCAA loopholes! There’s a reason why 90% of football players are sociology or communications majors, and it isn’t usually because they’re interested in those subjects.

because if you haven’t realized it
NOT WORRYING ABOUT YOUR EDUCATION IS
so dumb
really dumb
forreal

75 guys play college football for a team, give or take. Multiply that for all 100+ for all D1 college teams, and understand that 224 out of 7500 guys get drafted. That’s 2%. THE ODDS ARE NOT IN YOUR FAVOR. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION AND PREPARE FOR A RAINY DAY.

and in this week’s unrelated completely ridiculous story…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/28/diddy-sued-for-1-trillion-woman-claims-date-rape-911-responsibility_n_815254.html?ref=tw

just read it.

This is a franchise QB, people. Jay Cutler probably tried his best to play [but I can't be sure about that - all I can say is Phillip Rivers played on a torn ACL in HIS AFCCG]; but the only certainty is that his performance today was so dumb, really dumb, forreal. The particular call that I want to focus on by Martz is the fatal 3rd and 4, with about a minute to go in the game. He tries an END AROUND with Earl Bennett, getting stuffed for a loss of one. I do not understand this call. Hanie has been slinging the ball fairly well up to that point. The Packers didn’t put that much pressure on him, and LET him pick them apart underneath. Or why not run a draw or something instead with Forte, who was having a really good game, instead of trying a long developing risk like that? Why get that cute? Good lord, Mike…you try too hard to prove your brilliance sometimes and ignore the right play. See: Forte, Wildcat last week.

Secondly, it was your offense that went 0/11 [or some absurd number like that] on third down in the game. Some of this has to fall on you too. Just a baffling, baffling decision there.

Now, onto other things this week…

Gale Sayers – for claiming that he is better than Devin Hester at returning. Mind you, Mr. Sayers, I understand that you were quite the great in your day.

BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I hate – hate hate hate hate hate [/playerhaters] former players who believe that their achievements are eternal and forever better than every player to come after them.

Recent examples:
Mercury Morris, for believing that his team would beat the 16-0 Patriots, back in 2007
Rod Laver, who says that Rafael Nadal’s holding 4 Grand Slam trophies at once does not equal a Grand Slam
Johnny Bench and other idiots who cling to absurd notions that pitchers need to get a W on the stats sheet to mean something

All of these guys suffer from some serious nostaligicizing [yeah I made that word up, sue me], and fail to realize that the game evolved after them. Gale, back in your day, the wedge was still legal. Secondly, I’m willing to bet that the overall skill level was a lot lower. Players were smaller. You yourself wouldn’t be close to one of the fastest guys on the field today. It’s stupid to make comparisons like that – especially in football, a sport that can’t really be examined in a vacuum. Were your higher return stats because of the blocking? the era you were in? the rule changes? the competition?

Baseball and basketball at least try to correct this to some degree with their statistics. But really, old athletes in general…nobody usually cares what you think. Your opinions are usually stupid. Thank you. Go away.

To the Clemson basketball team -

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Clemson-s-historic-losing-streak-at-North-Caroli?urn=ncaab-309373&active_dimension=carousel_ept_sports_blog

You would think that once in fifty five tries, you might be able to win. Wow.

This idiot – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OdSYygIsr0
for getting himself immortalized in the internet lolz hall of fame. You get decked by a MASCOT…that’s gonna make the news. lol, cleveland. Sadly, that’s only like 4th or 5th on the list of worst losses in Cleveland this year.

Jim Souhan of the Minnesota Star-Tribune – for writing that McCarthy is better than Lombardi.

What the fuck is your thinking? McCarthy had a 1-2 record before this year in the playoffs. Lombardi is 9-0. McCarthy has reached one Super Bowl [won zero so far]. Lombardi has two [the first two], and five NFL championships.
Seriously? Will you reporters write ANYTHING to get views? I don’t even have to make any argument beyond those numbers. When they name that thing they give out to winning teams in February the McCarthy trophy, we might talk.

To the executives who okayed the following two things…
Texas Network – who the fuck would pay for 24/7 texas programming? Why would anyone ever say hm, I’m bored, let’s watch something about the Longhorns? What could you possibly show here at 2AM? Vince’s Story: A Struggle With the Wonderlic? Every interception and poor decision by Garrett Gilbert in half hour blocks, accompanied by a laugh track, America’s Funniest Videos style?

but then again, this is America. Some how, people’ll watch it. /facepalm

Antoine Dodson’s reality show – okay, we get it. you had one funny video – that you yourself didn’t even make. somehow you’ve managed to parlay this into a series of endorsements, a shirt line, and a TV show. now it’s just annoying, because I’m pretty sure you’ll repeat all of those catchphrases to death during your show, thereby killing my enjoyment of this piece of visual garbage altogether.

Best believe that I’ll be climbin in yo window if you steal the So Dumb, Really Dumb, Forreal Awards. And you can run and tell THAT, homeboy.

Tony Reagins, Angels GM – for trading for one of the worst contracts in baseball, and then paying almost all of it. You’re trading for a 31 year old, on the downside of his prime, who flirts with 800 OPS, and has been worth 7 WAR the last 4 seasons. Not a guy you want to be paying 20 something million a year for right now.

But any time you can get a guy who hits .226/.340/.607 in your ballpark for his career [~10 year sample size], you gotta do it. Never mind that this is a frantic overcompensation for missing out on Crawford and Beltre. Good work, Reagins.

[oh, sure, he can play better now out of Toronto or whatever, but when have you ever seen a guy become worth his massive contract suddenly? Cause I'm still waiting on Zito...]

Tom Jackson – because his pick of the Patriots over the Jets was supposed to be a carefully orchestrated mind game to motivate them further

this just in; Jackson’s picks against every team who ended up winning were also carefully orchestrated mind games.
no, really.

Vince Young – for still believing that he is an elite quarterback, according to reports this week. because elite quarterbacks quit on their teammates, throw tantrums, threaten to retire, haven’t won a playoff game, and get benched for rusty fucking smith regularly.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2011/1/19/1943956/the-happy-football-life-of-will-hill -
this one speaks for itself. please read the whole thing.

Extra Award – PUT DA TEEM ON HIS BACK – Caleb Hanie – comes off the bench cold and nearly wins the damn game. Sure, he threw two picks. Whatever. They would’ve lost without him. Very admirable effort by the kid.

New Orleans Saints [favorite headline: Late Stiffarm Lynches Saints and Playoff Hopes]
So, this week we had the defending Super Bowl champs playing quite possibly the worst playoff team ever. They were 10 point favorites on the road. Probably as close to a projected bye as there has ever been in Wild-Card Weekend.

And what happened?

Seattle happened.
Matt Hasselbeck throwing for 4 TDs happened.
Marshawn Lynch posterizing Tracy Porter for all of eternity happened.
5th and 6th string running backs happened.
Gregg Williams’ defense collapsing like a levee happened.

And by god, we’ll have a game we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. Congratulations on joining the discussion of worst playoff loss ever, New Orleans! [And this looks even worse when you look at how Seattle played this week against Chicago. LOL]

They’re removing the N word from Huck Finn -
Being an English major, I’m obligated to feel a certain way.

This decision is fucking retarded. First of all, this is bastardizing the author’s intent – the entire book revolves around the difficulty of a white/black relationship, and the N word’s inclusion is there to express a certain reality that we now believe we can erase. That’s not improvement. That’s fucking censorship. What acceptable substitute carries the same gravity and meaning without compromising the intentions of Twain? None. THERE ARE NONE.

Secondly, what the fuck is it about this damn country that causes people to think their right to not be offended supercedes the right of expression? It’s no goddamn wonder people are becoming dumb and dumber – they’re being desensitized to reality at increasingly younger ages. Pretty soon, slavery won’t have existed at all. Mind you, I have liberal tendencies, but this is beyond ridiculous. /facepalm

Kickoff return unit for the Indianapolis Colts [Favorite Headline: Jets Nudge Colts by a Foot] – Peyton manning has just given you the lead with a minute to go. All you have to do is play defense and stop the Jets – yet you dumbasses allowed Cromartie to break off a huge return with that “RUNNIN FROM DA ALIMONY COPS” speed, making their jobs so much easier.

And perhaps even better, Jim Caldwell even called a timeout to HELP the Jets late – offering “I don’t care. I do what I want” as an excuse. This has to be one of the dumbest decisions ever. And I watch a lot of Eagles football. On a sidenote, this game dropped Peyton Manning to 9-10 in the playoffs. Good thing he already has a ring, because this kind of number could seriously hurt his legacy. And on another note, they seriously need to figure out how to get a run game going, because again, Peyton Manning is not good enough to win a game by himself anymore. So, on the basis of completely choking out the game, the Indianapolis Colts are so dumb, really dumb, forreal.

Everybody blaming video games for the Tucson shooter’s craziness -
Shut the fuck up. Forreal. A person cannot be figured out by one hobby or bullshit – and certainly no fucking video game ensures that you will grow up to be an angry, violent murderer. Thanks.

Cincinnati Bengals for not having a scouting department – Before rehiring Marvin Lewis, news came out that the Bengals’ scouting department consists of THREE people.

This explains so much.

Ryan Mallett’s receivers – For dropping 5 or 6 key passes that cost them a chance for a win, especially when all the momentum was on the side of the Hogs. OLOL. It’s like they were greased up or something.

OJ Mayo/Tony Allen – You guys are goddamn millionaires. Unless you’re gambling for upwards of millions of dollars on a team flight [in which case, you then have serious gambling problems], there is literally no reason why a card game should get between you people like that. That’s absolutely retarded. And this is why athletes can’t have nice things like Twitter accounts – they often forget that they are people too.

Dumb. At least no guns were pulled this time.

This is probably the only significant thing we’ll hear with the name Tony Allen in it all year.
and double LOL at memphis saying OJ Mayo missed the game with bronchitis or whatever

Canadian Hockey WHJC – You guys invented the damn sport, yet your junior team can’t hold a 3-0 lead in the third? lol,hockey.

in soviet russia, lead holds YOU!

Miami Dolphins – Sparano – How do you jerk around your coach who you haven’t even fired yet like that? And Sparano, how can you return to a team that OBVIOUSLY does not want you? Didn’t anyone tell Stephen Ross that this might be a bad idea if they couldn’t close the deal? And how bad does Miami look if even 8 million dollars a year can’t get Jim Harbaugh?

Jim Harbaugh – For managing to make everybody in this age of modern media COMPLETELY LOST ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING. Over the course of 4 or 5 days, we heard your name thrown out against the Broncos, Michigan, Stanford, San Francisco, and the Dolphins. Often times, contradictory reports were coming out at the same time.How the fuck does that even happen? Is it that hard to make a decision on whether or not you want the job???? And perhaps even better – how did you end up taking so long if you accepted pretty much the same offer of 5m/per? It’s not like you were stalling for more money, like what was rumored…

SDRD. /shake head. You better be the savior, for all this goddamn hoopla.

New England Patriots – No urgency at all. Utterly lost out there, even with the extra bye week. Brady looked extremely uncomfortable and unable to stay upright for large portions of the game. Sound familiar?

Last time I could really say that, it was the NYG-NE Super Bowl.

Mind you, I have to salute you for taking the high road this week and trying not to get involved in the press war. But this was just an abysmal performance. 14-2 for naught.

Matt Ryan – Most of this performance has to fall on you. You couldn’t even throw for 200 yards. Didn’t look as cool as advertised. Tossed a pick to Tramon Williams that swung the game completely. At home. Where you are supposed to be untouchable.

Sorry guys. Matt Ryan is not an elite quarterback. Elite QBs are guys you would trust to win ANY game – Rodgers, Brady, Ben, Manning are the only four that qualify for me. Maybe in a few years, though – this Falcons team is still very young. That being said, give credit to the Packers for rolling at the right time, and for Rodgers slowly creeping his way into top 2/3 QB status…
[go bears<3]

Not including Seattle, because everyone expected them to lose.

Now, Wisconsin should’ve won their game. With 30 seconds left in the half and 3 timeouts, they elected to kick a field goal, though they were moving the ball up and down the field – and in fact, they got away from the run too much during the game. The first missed field goal hurt a lot too. /shake head. As far as the 2 point conversion call, I didn’t really agree with that. Stick to what got you there and just run John Clay offtackle – or even Montee Ball.

Sucks for you guys. Been a pretty rough couple of months, with the Ohio State suspensions and the laughs at the Legends/Leaders conference names and what not.

Now, seeing as you guys have pretty much had your asses handed to you, I’d say you drop to 4th out of the AQ conferences – Pac 10, SEC, Big XII being ahead of you, of course. And really, national perception of your conference has been fading for a while, because of how Ohio State has flopped on the big stage.
-Andy Reid and Marty Mo…whatever the hell you spell your name like. You guys had Vick throw 40+ times, using playaction on more than a handful of snaps. Why? The game was in reach most of the time. Teams are starting to figure it out. You guys can’t keep letting him get hit and failing in pass protection like that – especially when you get burned repeatedly on the same blitz with Winfield. You sat him this week to get him rested up, and that’s good and all – but this team has no momentum going into the playoffs. Rough.

Your hopes ride with the run game, as always. You have a supertalented back. Why not use him? /facepalm
I don’t feel good about these playoff chances

-Chinese people – for voting in a guy to start at center for the ASG who may never play another NBA game.
-Jed York – because only the 49ers could conduct a search for GM, and have no idea who actually is a candidate and who isn’t.
-Jacory Harris and Stephen Garcia – A year ago, I thought it would be Alabama vs Miami for the BCSCG. I was counting on Jacory Harris to take a step forward and take this Miami team to the next level, especially after the way they handled 4 straight ranked teams last year.

Nope. If anything, you regressed – and nearly led the country in INTs despite missing 3 games.

You shitted it up and got replaced. And the same for you, Stephen Garcia, and the same for you too, Nick Foles. You have an entire month to prepare for your bowls. How is it that you still come out and have no idea what’s going on on the field? I don’t even understand it. Really.

Chris Brown – http://www.comcast.net/articles/entertainment-eonline/20101230/b218318/
Hey, dumbass. Twitter is a public forum. If you’re gonna post shit about someone NOT in a Dm, the world is gonna hear about it. Really, it’s baffling. This type of social media has been around for a couple years now, and yet somehow celebs still manage to think that people aren’t gonna fucking call them out on this? Now, CB will never be redeemed in my eyes after the whole Rihanna thing, but the dude is just a fucking idiot. You get the feminists on you, and now you get the gay rights groups.

Good work.

All that bullshit is for dumbasses like youuuuuuu
You ain’t nothin but retarrrrrrrrrrrrded

Warriors – You guys had a chance to catch the Heat hungover from New Year’s Eve. You lead by 15 – FIFTEEN – at halftime. And what the fuck do you do? Completely blow the damn game. This is a chance for you to make a defining victory to ring in the new year…/shake head. Maybe that’s on me, because I wrote down the Heat for SDRD at halftime. Right after that, everything fell apart. Typical. Gotta start winning some road games, y’all.

New York Giants – bet you wish you guys had won that damn game against the Eagles now, huh?
Seattle Seahawks – congratulations! You have now earned the right to be stomped by the New Orleans Saints next week on national television! Come on dooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn

sidenote – anyone notice that once Carey dropped all that weight, he suddenly lost all his charm?

Anyone who thinks Oklahoma is legit because they beat a terrible UConn team. Seriously.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Dave-Tollefson-s-mom-does-not-give-an-F-about-yo?urn=nfl-299723

Dave Tollefson’s mom – you are a bitch. Your son has worked his fucking ass off to make it to the NFL – whatever debt he owes you has probably been repaid a thousand times over if you consider his salary. That fancy house you live in? Yeah, who do you think paid for that? For you to act like an uppity little diva and demand he play, just so it’s not a waste of your time is beyond low. You don’t think he was trying? These guys deal with pain that would send most of us to the hospital, and still play. What the fuck do YOU do? You sit in the stands with his jersey on and pretend you know what the fuck is going on. All YOU had to do was fly 3,000 miles on a trip paid for by your son. WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING?!?!

So dumb.

San Francisco 49ers – For somehow extending playoff hopes in the worst division in football till week 15, only to completely bungle the 2 minute drill AND the drive before it, when we had a chance to tie the game on both. Man, oh man, where do I begin…

In the first quarter, Danny Amendola took an end-around and threw a WR pass 45 yards down the field, which was picked up…except Nate Clements isn’t looking…and crashes into the guy, causing a PI.

Rams score next play.

Troy Smith was his usual hit or miss self – finishing 7/19 with one big play touchdown. Dude is definitely not a viable NFL starter, and for us to run him out there in week 16! WEEK SIXTEEN! IN A DO OR DIE GAME, you guys still have a fucking quarterback dilemma. And you guys then proceed to still have that dilemma during the game, when you pull Troy Smith for Alex in the 4th quarter. Great. The offense started to move a little bit, but somehow he still managed to take a sack at the WORST TWO POSSIBLE TIMES.. Pretty much your 49ers season in a nutshell. No quarterback. Mistakes and meltdowns [I see you, Nate Clements Atlanta Fumble].

And what the fuck is Ted Ginn trying to accomplish by shoving a towel in Troy’s face during the exchange? /facepalm
Defense was fine for most of the game, as usual. But goddamn, the tackling in the secondary needs serious, serious work.

I look at this team and obviously where we’re going in April is quarterback. And after that…fuck. I don’t even know.

Seems so long ago that we were anointing this team NFC West champions. What a mistake that was. San Francisco 49ers, this season has been so dumb, really dumb, forreal. Games are not won on the backs of speeches, of “leadership styles”, of “passion”. Certainly those things help – but they are first won in the film room, in the game plan, and on the field. We didn’t really do much of any of that, this year.

Sigh. God fucking dammit. I don’t think this is a playoff team next year, no matter who we put back there.

David Buehler -
In a season filled with more kicker lollery than I can remember for quite some time, you managed to miss an extra point on Christmas night to lose the game. ITS AN EXTRA POINT! AND YOU’VE MISSED TWO! That was a completely winnable game – and I have to throw a second SDRD at Cowboys receivers; first at Miles Austin for falling on a route [over the last couple of weeks, your production has fallen a lot with Kitna at the helm, as well], and allowing Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie to get a pick six. Next drive, Roy Williams lets a ball bounce off his hands for another pick-six.

PICK SIXES! PICK SIXES EVERYWHERE!

This season, at least, is mercifully coming to an end. Jason Garrett has this team playing better, but you all looked like you were expecting to unwrap this W in Arizona. Shameful. There’s too much talent on this Cowboy team to let a season like this happen.

Terrell Suggs -
You voted for Ryan Fitzpatrick over Tom Brady for the Pro Bowl? Tom Brady, he of the 37-4 TD:INT ratio, 13-2 record and owner of the longest INT-less streak in NFL history this year?

/facepalm

Miami Dolphins @ Home -
Taking home-field advantage to a whole new level, you guys managed to drop a 10 point lead to the Lions in the 4th quarter…who are now on a 3 game winning streak. You’ve won ONE game at home this year. There was a time when your only 4 losses were to the 4 best teams in the NFL.

Miami’s officially in rebuilding mode. Henne looks like crap. Both running backs are now no longer threats.Brandon Marshall couldn’t even make a ripple, let alone a splash in Miami. Team is floundering. Has no chance of making the playoffs for the forseeable future.

Good god. What happened?

Antoine Cason/Quinton Jammer
This is a win or go home game. Offense isn’t moving anywhere [lol, warmweatherteamsgoincold]. Game still in the balance, Palmer quicksnaps – Sidenote – why does Carson Palmer pick NOW to look like a halfway decent QB? He had 5 incomplete passes the entire day – and both of you guys are caught completely offguard. Boom, touchdown.

Let this be a fucking lesson to you, Norv Turner. The AFC West has improved. You can no longer show up in December and expect to win the division like that. So dumb, really dumb, forreal. top 5 offense and defense not making the playoffs…bahahaha. Phillip Rivers may be a good fantasy QB, but in a one game situation, he’s not the one I’m picking. I don’t care what anyone says. He’s not a winner.

lolchargers

Texans
It seems like every week you guys are in this column. A horrible INT in OT, a freak interception that bounces off Andre johnson’s knee, a hail mary TD, a Santonio Holmes TD with 6 seconds left. That’s five freak, last second losses this year…

and on the heels of that, we have today – a 300 yard passing performance allowed to The Mile High Messiah, Tim Tebow [TIM TEBOW, OF ALL PEOPLE!], a ten point comeback, and another interception off a guy’s helmet. What did Houston do to piss the sports gods off so badly?

this team is just imploding, so so so badly.

and what the fuck is wrong with Matt Schaub? Can we like, get a closer for him in the last 2 minutes of a game, or something? Can we do that?

Renardo Sidney

It baffles me how guys like Renardo Sidney receive hundreds of thousands of dollars [think about it. Room and board, out of state tuition...] to be complete fucking dicks. You were one of the top 3 forwards coming out of your high school class. Yet, somehow BOTH your hometown schools pulled out of the running for your services [maybe that's the wrong word, with all this Cam Newton shit...] – leaving pretty much only one D1 option for you to attend. Hm. First sign that maybe you might be making bad decisions…

Then you were banned for an entire year as the NCAA investigated your family’s receiving illegal benefits.Second sign…

You would think that maybe during this time that you might try to improve as a player, right? Maybe even work on some weaknesses. Hit the gym often.Add to your post game. Add to your range.

NOPE. YOUR FIRST GAME BACK, YOU COULD ONLY PLAY 15 MINUTES BEFORE CRAMPING UP? YOU ARE PATHETIC.

MISSISIPPI STATE STOOD BY YOU. THEY DIDN’T REVOKE YOUR SCHOLARSHIP. NOW NOT ONLY ARE YOU GETTING SUSPENDED IN YOUR FIRST WEEK FOR ACTING OUT AT PRACTICE – YOU GO AHEAD AND GET CAUGHT SLUGGING THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR TEAMMATE ON TV?!?!?!?!

WHY?!?!?!?!?! DIDN’T YOU LEARN A DAMN THING!?!?!?!

NEVER MIND THE SCHOLARSHIP. Let’s think big picture. If this kid is really as good as they say – maybe top half, first round? – you pretty much just cost yourself MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in the last two weeks, just by being a fucktard. These character issues will come back to bite you in the ass – this isn’t even a little thing like a random pot incident, either. Two [really, three] incidents make a pattern.

The ONLY right thing to do is for them not to suspend you, but straight up cut you.
Dumb. Just, so dumb. What are you thinking? What could you POSSIBLY be thinking that would justify this? /facepalm. It pains me to think that athletes receive such leeway, but I understand that they generate revenue for the school. sigh.

Kyle Shannahan – How are you gonna bench Donovan McNabb, and THEN take his advice for the offense? LOL, Redskins…hahahahahahaha.

The entire goddamned NCAA – You guys claim to be serious about enforcing recruiting rules and violations, yet you let Terrelle Pryor and Herron play in the BCS Bowl next week, after banning them for NEXT YEAR? And the excuse you guys use is “they didn’t know”…

combine this with the Cam Newton ruling and it becomes really hard to take you seriously. Let’s get real, NCAA. You motherfuckers exist to make money first, and enforce the rules second – which is the ONLY reason you let them play.

Do you see this article?

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=5954489%EF%BB%BF

Do you know why none of these damn programs actually got the suggested punishment? IT’S THE GODDAMN MONEY. OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T TAKE AWAY THEIR TV RIGHTS, THEIR SCHOLARSHIPS, THEIR PROGRAMS. GODDAMN IT.

FUCK you, NCAA.

Hawaii Warriors offense – SEVEN TURNOVERS?!

Antrel Rolle – Maybe you should shut up and not make predictions like that, because it sure looks like you had a hangover from the Philly game.

Stat of the week: Giants Defense has given up 73 points in its last 68 minutes.

Well then.

Los Angeles Lakers – HOW DO YOU NOT SHOW UP ON CHRISTMAS DAY? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO REASSERT DOMINANCE OVER THE NBA, TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE TITLE STILL PASSES THROUGH LA!

You didn’t show up.
and an SDRD to anyone who thought Kobe’s shoes looked good.

Nearly too dumb:
The new Orlando Magic players – Arenas, Richardson, Turkoglu. Removed because you beat two of the best teams in the NBA the last 3 days.
Shawtae Spencer – for trying to touch a receiver that he thought was down, except that the guy was already standing up. [This occurred late in the 3rd or 4th quarter. Guy beat Spencer cause he was looking into the backfield, guy falls, guy gets up and THEN Spencer touches him, guy dashes in for a TD - only, he stepped out of bounds first.]